Lohran Jay‘s poem: I Wish Your Death in Me


I have a dream.

I will pass this and people will clap, With their hearts ending my sorrow.

In their astonishing eyes I am ready for the path of tomorrow.

Oh heaven such a bliss!-oh failure striking arrow?


 

Can I see the flowers bloom on other side?

Ah no? I'll be in doom?

Why? You seemed to love me in gloom.

But you are right! I can't be that. Delusion is only what I know…


 

Wait! Now I am mad! Fallen into the bliss of your trap.

You are here again to beat my heart! Strangle my soul and woke me from realm. 

I know what you meant but I hate that it's real.

So there you go, I have to stop, reach above to calm my soul…


 

You are not a friend why are you here?

All my worries rushing in when you're near.

But somehow calms my doleful peace.

I'm entangled by your mind magic.

Please stop! Feet are frozen up to my hip.


 

My heart was escaping.

My mind was bursting with unwanted things.

My soul was horrified.

While my eyes were still dry.

I don't want to die. I just want to hide, to disappear or burst like bubbles in the air.


 

But it's far from fair.

I am tired, patience began to wear.

Now, I know you are here.

The tail of your ghost keeps coming back in every memory of your existence. 

Sounding like a death bell, it keeps ringing in my head.


 

But they will know.

Oh the world will know!

How you locked me up to your endless game.

You can chain my hand but not my pen.

Yes! craven was I, but not again!


 

You are the poison which my heart sips.

The potion a witch failed to mix.

'Cause I could swear through the pain of every prick.

You're a monster that keeps growling in my brain.

The vicious chain that keeps throttling my throat in vain!


 

A demon that always chase me-

Oh no, no more tears to shed.

I prayed even my hopes were thin like thread.

Damn those hypocrite mind! I'm sick they said.

That's why I hate you and I wish your death instead.


 

I wish your death in me! 

Having you, I'll never live with glee.

Dawn to night you wrecked my mind, if only they can see.

Maybe a sharp knife can shut you and make me free.

I will cinch your lost even I have to close the door of future for me.


 


Lohran Jay is a writer of her own sorrows. She pledges that in this new period of her life will conquer those closed hearts of mindful being.

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