Jacob stood looking at the bank, not just any bank, The Bank. His time in the local lockup had given him plenty of time to think, think and plan. He knew his incarceration was meant to convince him crime did not pay but he decided one more do or die try at becoming a wealthy man was worth the risk. Jacob never claimed to be the brightest penny in the tin.
Last time he’d had his mate, Jim, with him. Bad mistake he’d decided. Jim was good at a lot of things but driving getaway cars wasn’t one. He’d turned into a nearby alley to avoid the pursuing police car. Might have been a good idea if the alley hadn’t been a dead end!
Lesson learned. Jacob was going to go it alone this time. He’d had plenty of time to plan and was confident of success. He’d rented a cheap room in the old building that housed one of the few remaining bank branches in the area. There was also a barber shop, a florist and a pet store. The top floor above these businesses was divided into rental rooms accommodating mainly singles and students. Jacob was happy to rent the room above the bank. What could go wrong?
He’d lived there nearly a month now and was pretty confident he knew the routine working times and habits of all who lived there, both businesses and tenants. He’d kept a low profile and hadn’t engaged with anyone other than to say good morning or good evening. ‘Smart,’ he thought.
He knew that Saturday night was party night for the students. They took turns week about, gathering in each others’ rooms and enjoyed drinks, dancing to loud music and partying till the early hours. The older tenants usually went out on Saturdays, probably to get away from the noise.
So, this special Saturday was to be ‘The Saturday’ Jacob had decided. He rubbed his hands in satisfaction, patted his jacket pocket to make sure the small electric saw was tucked out of sight, the ‘almost silent best circular saw for handicrafts on the market’ the poster in the hardware store had said. What could go wrong?
Jacob had a couple of whiskies with his meat pie dinner, just to relax, he told himself. He opened a packet of nuts and waited till the party next door was at its noisiest peak and lifted the old mat covering his old wooden floor.
‘This’ll be a breeze,’ he told himself and had one more swig of whisky. ‘I’ll be able to afford top of the range grog soon,’ he chuckled.
Just as he thought, the saw managed to cut through the old boards with little trouble. It wasn’t really silent, but not too bad he reckoned. He knew most of the songs the students played and was able to adjust his timing to coincide with the noisiest and most boisterous sequences. ‘Smart’, he thought again. He had the nuts in his pocket and replenished his energy with handfuls during the breaks.
Once he’d cut away a section big enough to lower himself through, he put the saw aside, threw down a canvas carry bag with his safe-breaking tools and lowered himself through the gap. He was 99% sure he’d judged right and would land in the office area just in front of the door leading to the locked safe room. He wasn’t worried about the door being locked to the prize. He was a master locksmith after all. He chuckled at the thought.
Jacob thought he’d heard a clattering noise when he threw the bag down, blaming it on the noise from next door. He knew there was a drop of about 2.5 metres he’d have to negotiate but he was confident in his athletic ability, just like he was confident in his ability to conquer most things, and he felt like cheering as he let go and dropped to the floor.
Well, he thought he was dropping to the floor. His reaction to the sensation of finding himself in the large aquarium decorating the whole back wall of the pet shop was not one he would want his admirers to see! He spluttered and gasped as he surfaced looking into the eyes of a large water snake that had wrapped itself around his neck. He frantically grabbed the glass wall of the aquarium willing it to stay upright and not spill him onto the floor amidst shattered glass from the broken top and water snakes.
Jacob pulled himself upward and managed to extricate himself from a water snake attempting to throttle him! He gained leverage by resting his foot on a rock on the floor of the aquarium and rested for a moment to think how the hell he was going to get out of the mess he had ‘splashed’ himself into?
He could hear the students’ music playing loudly. ‘Thank goodness,’ he thought. ‘No one would have heard the glass shatter. I can carry on with my plan.’
Jacob hoisted himself up onto another rock at the back of the tank, lifted up his leg and manoeuvred his body slowly, slowly onto shelving behind the tank.
“Easy-peasy,” he said out loud, as he finally extricated himself from the tank. He slid down on to the floor, carefully avoiding the smashed glass, and the water snakes and fish attempting to hang on to life in what remained of the aquarium and its water.
He looked around the pet shop. The birds in the aviary screeched at him; kittens eye-balled him and two young monkeys swung on to the door of their large cage and, in unison, screamed at him then turned their back on him exhibiting their behinds!
“Lovely,” Jacob said, addressing all the animals. “Best I get out of here pronto. The best laid plans of mice and men, aye? My judgement hasn’t been so spot on after all! I’ll tackle the safe room from another angle. I’ll break into the bank from the alleyway behind. Yes, that’s what I will do.”
As if in agreement with his plan, a cacophony of sound from the animals filled his ears. He pulled his dripping wet bag free from where it lay in front of their cages and took out his locksmith tools. A few minutes later he had traced and disconnected the pet shop’s security system wiring. He chuckled loudly. ‘I’ve not lost my touch after all,’ he thought.
Jacob then slowly opened the shop door and peered out. The street was empty. He gathered all his tools into his canvas bag, gave the animals a wave and stepped into the dimly-lit street. He, nonchalantly, swung the bag over his shoulder, and sauntered along the road to the alleyway to the back of the bank. He sighed. ‘Plan B,’ he thought, ‘I’ll break in from the outside. That can’t be too difficult!’
A sudden noise made him spin round. Was someone else in the alleyway? He pulled out his torch and checked – he was alone. He scratched his head. ‘Ummm!’ he thought. ‘Better give this break-in a bit of thought.’
There was that noise again! He spun round. “Oh, no!” He shouted in horror as his torch beam illuminated the figure of an escaped monkey!
The other monkey followed, but they seemed happy to be free and wanted to play.
“Hey guys,” he said in a friendly, but cautious voice. Lucky he had the nuts in his pocket he thought, throwing a handful to the monkeys, which won them over immediately. “Want to play a game?” He asked. The monkeys jumped around in excitement.
‘This is my chance.’ Jacob thought to himself. ‘I can do with some help and they seem ready for a game.’ He kept feeding them and encouraging them.
Out in the street the misadventure at the pet shop had caused a commotion but with the raucous from the shop and the loud music from the party upstairs, Jacob had no interruption going about his Plan B. He started to dig away the mortar between the bricks at the back of the bank. He pulled out enough mortar to fit through and engaged the monkeys to pull the bricks away.
They were in their element helping, removing more than he needed but it kept them amused giving him the chance to break through the interior wall. Squinting through the first hole he could see he was well and truly on the right track.
Before he proceeded he checked up the alleyway again and saw the continuing commotion on the street, with someone calling, ‘snake, snake’. He was delighted and knew he could continue without expecting any disturbance. The bank alarm started to go off but again, it was overshadowed by all the noise. He climbed in through the hole pulling his bag behind him. He found the alarm and turned if off immediately and headed for the safe. The monkeys were screeching and throwing bricks around, then followed him into the bank, running around and causing chaos.
“You guys are better accomplices than Jim.” He laughed, giving them another handful of nuts. ‘Glad I had those,’ he thought.
It took less time to break into the strong room than he had expected. He filled his bag with notes, more money than he thought he could ever need.
“I’d rather be free than greedy.” He said to the monkeys as he climbed back out of the hole and made his way back down the alley. They followed him and, with his bag over his shoulder, he and the monkeys mingled amongst the crowd that had assembled out the front of the shops. The police and pet shop owner had arrived and they were doing all they could do to restore order.
“Here Micky, here Billy.” The owner called as she spotted the monkeys coming up the alleyway. Jacob sprinkled the last of the nuts on the ground to discourage them from following him. He weaved in and out through the crowd to make his way down the street and around the corner. In the foyer of his building he picked up a packed suitcase he’d hidden. It had his passport, his clothes and all the necessities he needed. He knew to return to his room would be dangerous after they found the hole in the roof of the pet shop.
“Easy-peasy.” Again Jacob congratulated himself on his smartness. He hopped on a nearby bus that was going to the airport and checked his bag to reassure himself his ticket to New Zealand was hidden in the secret pocket with his passport.
“Well done, ol’ Jake.” He muttered as he settled himself on the bus, looking around with an air of superiority.
It took forty minutes before the bus stopped at the airport.
“Enjoy your trip.” The bus driver called as Jacob hopped off.
In a couple of minutes Jacob found himself in a crowd of people fighting for places in the queues that lead to the check-in desks. He pushed his bags up close to a young lady, who noticed his damp clothes and one of his bags.
“Been swimmin’ in ye clothes, mate?”
“Naw, just caught in a heavy storm on my way here.” He replied as two burly police officers walked across behind him. He felt his heart sink, but they kept walking and once again he congratulated himself as he approached the desk.
“Checking in that bag?” said the assistant.
“Naw, only the big one, thanks.” He replied as he clutched his money bag. It was now sweat running down his face, not fish tank water.
He began walking toward the terminal when he felt a heavy hand on his shoulder and turned. The two burly coppers were standing face to face with him.
“Dropped this Mate. You’ll need it.”
He looked down to see his boarding pass with relief.
“Thanks Fellas,” he mouthed with the little breath he had left.
DoubleSpeak 