doublespeakmag

Shokhrukh Usmonov’s translation of Nilufar Shakarova’s poem: Ko’p o’yladim, so’ngra ket dedim, – So Much I Thought, Then I Said, “Go,” (Uzbek to English)

Editor’s Note: It is worth mentioning that these poems of Nilufar Shakarova are being published for the first time as well. Since DoubleSpeak is an English magazine, hence it is fitting that they are published with their English translations.

Ko’p o’yladim, so’ngra ket dedim,


Ko’p o’yladim, so’ngra ket dedim,

Ketdim deding, mag’rur turib sen.

Ammo nechun tag’in va tag’in

Xayolimda daydib yuribsan?

Endi uni o’ylamayman deb

Kunda ming bor ayladim qaror,

Tushlarimdan ketolmay yurgan

Sen bedormi yoki men bedor?

Kimga boqsam sening surating,

Senikidek barcha ovozlar.

Tushunaman, ketishing og’ir,

Qiynalyapsan kecholmay vozlar.

Necha oldim qo’limga qalam,

Va dardimdan yaratdim ash’or

Satrlarda kezib yuribsan,

Mendan ko’ngil uzmadingmi, yor?

Senda qolib ketti yuragim,

Xayolimni olib ketting sen.

Ket deganda ketish shartmidi?!

Ruhimni-da yulib ketting sen.

Uyqusiz tun…

Shivirlayman: Yor,

Sen bedormi yoki men bedor?…

So Much I Thought, Then I Said, “Go,”


 

So much I thought, then I said, “Go,”

You said you left, standing proud.

Tell me, why, again and again, though

You still wander in my mind, a shroud?

“I shan’t think of him now,” I swore

A thousand times a day, I made that vow,

Are you awake, or am I sleepless more,

You who cannot leave my dreams even now?

In every face I see your form,

Every voice sounds just the same.

I understand, leaving was a storm —

You suffer, unable to give up the claim.

How many times did I take up my pen,

And out of my sorrow, create a verse?

You wander still inside my lines, and then —

Have you truly left my heart, dear?

My heart remained with you that day,

You took my thoughts, leading them away.

Was it truly required to leave when I said, “Go away?!”

You tore my very soul and left it to decay.

A sleepless night…

I whisper: Dear,

Are you awake, or is it I who cannot sleep from fear?…

Shokhrukh Usmonov is a poet and literary translator, born in 2001 in the Kashkadarya region of Uzbekistan. He studied Uzbek-English translation theory and practice at Tashkent State University of Uzbek Language and Literature. He was a runner-up in the Duel, a contest in the field of literary translation in 2021 and his work was nominated for The Best Book for Children and Teenagers in Translation award in 2022.
Nilufar Shakarova (born 24th of June, 1999) is an emerging poet from Jizzakh, Uzbekistan. Beyond writing poetry, she is currently a master’s degree student at the Jizzakh State Pedagogical University. Nilufar writes more about timeless feelings of humankind, mostly using Eastern poetry style which is rich in rhythm and wit.

Leave a comment