“Pour another,” she said excitedly, while both the friends took another look at their favourite episode of their weekly favourite binge. It was a tough week for both of them, reminiscing the pain. The month of December is not only sombre due to winter’s grasp, but of the suffocating memory of losing a dear one. The evening passed on quietly, with the sombre grasp and frivolous peals of laughter scattered here and there to ease the pain.
Parna took a gasp of breath and asked Jovi “ Jovs, you think we will go to hell for all this someday when we die? “Jovi started laughing and then said with complete assertion, “see P, I don’t know about hell but, your mother is surely going to give us a tough time when we die and finally see after for doing all this! “
They both started laughing and fell off, facing the ceiling. Jovi continued “P sometimes you know I think I have enough for this life, I know it might not be the most appropriate thing to say here, but maybe I am just done. I don’t want to approach life.“
Parna interrupted her saying, “Seriously, all this for just a man, I understand where you are coming from but no seriously, you should stop this.:”
“Alright alright, I am working on this you know that right”? Then she picks her keys up, sobering herself to leave. She hugs her friend and promises to bring her favourite wrap on Sunday for another binge party, and she took to the life to leave.
Jovi was in a confused mood, and she was not able to figure out what was the trigger this time, she did have a good time had her worries cuddled by nonchalant thoughts but something always ached. She was a bit dizzy, started her scooter carefully and started to ride.
It was a typically longer ride than usual for her, and she was flustered about the fact that the road didn’t seem to end at all. She somehow managed to get home, but was confused with the lack of street-lights in front of her gates. A weird panic struck her that are her parents aware that she was out drinking and shut the gates or are they unwell? She was getting a bit sweaty and scared and was about to get down from her ride when suddenly she heard a voice inside the front gate, a voice not heard in years, a voice that broke her time frame of existence and snapped out in fear thinking this sounds exactly like Parna’s mother. “ Meethi aunty? How?” She composed herself a bit, made herself realise that she is drunk and paused and approached towards the door to open it and call for her parents to light the gate.
She could hear one faint voice and a bright light following and coming towards her with the words “you did well my child, it’s all over now”. Likewise, all scared as she was, she tried to reach for her phone. Gasping for breath she thought of calling Parna fighting the fear that someone might just put a hand on her shoulder. The eerie feeling was choking her.
Parna woke up with a headache and puffy eyes, she still couldn’t understand what went wrong, she had phased out the noises that came at her saying how it is not her fault, she looked at Jovi’s missed call at her phone again and collapsed yet again.
It was the poignant chill of the December night, and she could finally gather the courage to go to the roof for a smoke, she was thankful that she allowed Sayan for a visit. She broke the half-hour long silence with “You know Sayan the last thing she said to me that night was that she couldn’t take this life any more. You know what I wish? I cloud have stopped there and maybe she wouldn’t have to go like this, maybe I could have tried a bit more like I did when she almost failed that political science test, you remember? “ Parna choked and couldn’t puff more.
Sayan gave her a hug and paused and said, “remember P, she tried her best to live, you were the best friend she had. No one could have understood that the scooty will be the last of her. She was always too overconfident with it, she could have just left it at your place. Fuck I miss her so much, that careless stupid girl! “
Parna paused for a while and said “You know what Jovi always used to say? Which she most definitely did copy from somewhere, that this life itself is the hell and when you die you get your redemption that you have survived this life here on earth. We are not sent here to make memories or live a good life, we are banished here for eternal damnation where every achievement is just a facade”. Sayan without being amused even a bit, continues” Oh! The typical J.”
Parna then put her head on his shoulders and looked up and continued “You think someone really did congratulate her when she reached wherever she was supposed to go?” You think she can see us right now and see how much it hurts, and it is very much here right now happening. Why is she banishing me like this?”
Sayan grabs Parna’s hand and gestures to get up and holds her to take her inside, mumbling, “it is cold out here, let’s go inside and this is whatever J said we are sent here to be punished for our sins it is just that”, stupid J!
DoubleSpeak 