Shreya Kulkarni‘s essay: An ode to a feeling which you haven’s felt in a long long time.

June’19 BC (Before Covid)

You are at a restaurant- cum bar sipping cocktail with your close friends. You’re on “the” vacation, the one you planned for years and it’s finally happening, after few fuck ups and heated arguments and fellow feeling night stays. You’re meandering about how things work out and how lucky you are to feel this, and the reverie is interrupted when your friends ask you what do you want to eat. They are having live music which is hardly audible because of crowds’ chattering. Every one of you is in the moment, sharing it yet cherishing it solitarily looking at the side view. That is, waves crashing the rock, the sky showing off colours, playing with sun making it a perfect Kodak moment. After every gulp down you feel unconfined. The talk about love, friendship, families, future, expectations, disappointment, everything just goes for the toss and you’re tipsy, lighter, laughing a lot. You are present in the moment with it’s hazy memory. The vibe of laughter, comfort and some sort of emotional security. You just long for this safe space where you can speak up your mind and be who you truly are. No filters yet somehow you’re not your crappy self that you’re totally capable of. These people bring out the best in you. This feels like an ode to that feeling which you haven’t felt in a long, long time. You don’t know what peace actually means, may be it is that crowded place filled with strangers with your amigos around, making you feel like yourself, providing affinity in this world where you constantly feel insignificant.

People carrying different stories,

Leaving some behind,

And we are left with assumptions.

Watching their pretty faces,

Hearing them talk,



want to


At different places, their different


And all we’re seeking is change,

And we learn-unlern-relearn.

The change is within, because.

We connect with

Can be

just an



But we can take them with us.

And we leave, carrying different


Leaving some behind.

Shreya Kulkarni is a Marathi speaking girl living in Gujarat who is usually optimistic as she’s privileged, upper caste, hindu and conveniently atheist. Under this pretence, she’s realistic because she understands that the system isn’t broken rather it was built this way. She seems to be a sincere, rational, unsure, basically a boring entity who likes to sit on a couch with a bag of chips watching the same sitcom, laughing at the same jokes repetitively till she memorise everything and doesn’t find them funny anymore. Training to be a hypnotherapist, eligible to do your root canal treatment, dreams to be a successful writer. 

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