Benzo Brain #1
[Lost.]
“It’s a chemical imbalance
in the brain.” Ad copy from
Don Draper. I bought it. An
almost mouse scampers
across the floor. A Native
woman with saucer eyes.
She’s nice. Someone in the
kitchen plays You Suffer by
Napalm Death. A firefly smiles.
Who knew? Adorable. Doc
says up dose for two weeks.
Stars in the living room. Kurt
Cobain hovers. “Hi. Miss you.”
“Mummy I can still crawl!”
Benzo Brain #2 [a.m.]
[Life review.]
henry tried to murder me// why did oma leave her baby on the street// tante hid babies from the nazis// rosie’s baby booties// uncle george died near bowling green// i hate the confederacy// i hate nazis// i love oma// i’ll write a poem about her// henry tried to murder me when rosie was a baby// i hate him// i love rosie// i hate mauve// i hate the word mauve// don’t tell me where to park// the gate scares me// why did oma leave her baby on the street// henry tried to murder me
Benzo Brain #3
[No one sees the trail of bread trucks.]
“Here’s a list of my
symptoms, doc.” I’m not
crazy. Look. I’m nice.
See? I smile. “Your
tests are normal.” I’m not
crazy. “How often did you
see Dr. Brown, dear?”
I’m not crazy. EMDR.
“You’re blocked. A dam
holds you back.” I’m
not crazy. CPTSD. “Let’s
try a little Klonopin.”
“Fuck you! I’m not crazy!”
Fuckin’ pieces of shit.
Condescending, white-coat
pushers. I hate you. help me
Benzo Brain #4
[Rage.]
“Get out of my way!” Idiot.
“Where’s the wine aisle?”
A woman stares. Fuck you,
bitch. Get in here, now! Get
out! Never come back! I
swat insects from my arm.
Boxelder bugs in Oregon.
Why not? Dead whores on
Astor Street. Smart girls with
temp jobs. Pay up and get lost.
How to get under the ground
near my sister?
Skye sells guns.
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