Andy Bernard from the office said, “I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them.” This struck because I was just thinking about how the times have changed. From meeting friends in the evenings to play tag or house, to meeting friends for dinners, from drinking a glass of milk to starting the day with chai sutta, from coloring as our hearts desired to coloring inside the lines, life did change.
Nostalgia is something we all experience, Beit good or bad, Seeing somethings of the past and how they have changed in the current times, makes us want to hold on to the wonderful phase of our lives called Childhood.
As adults now, we find ourselves constantly struggling between who we used to be and who we are trying to become. The world around us has changed, time has changed and lastly, so have we. This change is too silent for us to notice each day yet loud enough for us to not ignore when we look back.
This project of mine, “Between Now and Then”, attempts to capture that shift. It tries to place childhood and adulthood side by side, not trying to compare the two, but show that there is an invisible thread that ties them together. Through this photo essay, I try to explore the objects, gestures and movements inside my own home that carry traces of what was and what we have inherited as adults.
Each image here, represents a conversation between what was and what is, between the then and now forming a visual journey through nostalgia, memory and the quiet ache of growing up that we all feel.
Using nostalgia as a tool, these images are not just a reminder of childhood, but a reminder of how far we have come.
Image 1 (CAPTION- From messy to perfection) shows us the raw and unfiltered imagination of childhood. Bright colors, uneven scribbles and simple shapes remind us of a time when creativity flowed without any hesitation. Our first pieces of art were messy yet beautiful, it was our take on how the world looked and how we would reproduce that in 2 D. While creativity still carries the same notion, the work has somehow translated into getting things “perfect” whereas back then, perfection did not exist. It is perhaps interesting to see how the child who once colored outside the lines, has now simply found new ways to express themselves.
We all express ourselves, but who catches these expressions is not in our control. Image 2 (CAPTION- Old ears, young beats, together.) captures how one generation now tries to block out these expressions (block out the world) using headphones, while the other struggles to listen. Wearing a hearing aid, the older generation is trying to make sense of the world now, rather than run away from it. One hears what’s new, while the other hears what remains.
The loud echoes of life, the loud expressions that we try to shut out, often makes us want to go back to the place where we seek the most comfort. Image 3 (CAPTION-Returning softly to old joy) captures the quiet and private way of how we all return to the things that once made us feel free. As children, we would find thrill in the swings. Going as high as we possibly could, giving it our all so that we achieve the motion to reach there, to how we sit on that just to reach the same place, the place of happiness that we all felt.
When we look at how we reach places, Image 4 (CAPTION- small beginnings, bigger journeys ahead) shows that the idea of movement, independence and the speed at which we would go in has changed. The motorbike shows a faster, louder, heavier way of life which promises speed in order for us to reach places, whereas the bicycle represents slow, often wobbly beginnings that would make us reach our destination with speed but more importantly, with a sense of accomplishment.
While we are on the topic of swings, Image 5 (CAPTION- balancing joy, then and now) radiates raw childhood joy — outdoor play, innocence. Balancing back then looked like a game, but now, it is a life skill.
Playing as a child was something we all held sacred- Whether it was playing outdoors- in the park (swing, see saw etc) or perhaps playing house or with toys inside, we all had our own go to game, which became our safe space. Somewhere along the way, even as adults, we tend to go back to those spaces. Image 6 (CAPTION- Young memories, old hands) portrays a quiet reminder that the things we fully loved, never truly leave. They tend to return not as “play” specifically, but as comfort and a sense of familiarity of who we used to be.
Similarly, stories had a special place for us all as well. Bedtime stories with my great grandmother are something that I will cherish for the rest of my life. Image 7 (CAPTION- picture book vs text book) shows how from picturebooks to plain and normal text books, we have evolved. I would personally pick the picture books over the never ending fat text books anyday.
There is a time however, where we do not have the option to choose. Gems or Medicines? IMAGE 8 (CAPTION- Sweet Survival), shows that as life moves on, options and priorities change. From unapologetically engaging in sweet cravings, to taking endless colourful pills to survive, childhood comes around in different ways, except with different meanings.
Even with drinks, milk glass to alcohol, where did all the time go? Image 9 (CAPTION- Milky energy to whiskey sleeps).
From colourful clothing that our parents picked out for us, to the mundane, simple, colourless outfits show how the innocence faded away with time as well. Image 10 (CAPTION- from tiny hems to long silhouettes) captures this feeling of leaving things behind but still exposing the body to new things.
Well, we do not leave childhood behind. We carry it quietly — in pockets, in photographs, in who we are becoming. This image 11(CAPTION- Nostalgia) attempts to make the viewer sit and think. Think about how this is perhaps the reality that none of us can escape. Giving ourselves solace about the fact is the only thing that we can do.
Nostalgia has a different effect on everyone. For some people it might be a good walk down the memory lane, for others, it’s a reminder of the time that we all lost. Personally, I hate the feeling of nostalgia, but I cannot help myself. Somewhere in between feeling bitter and sad about how the times have changed, I find myself seeking comfort in the said feeling. Comfort because I believe going back to the time that was lived, gives us hope that at the end of it all, it will all work out.
In the end, growing up is learning how to hold both worlds at once. Childhood does not vanish easily, it simply seeps into quieter corners of our lives, appearing in colours, objects, habits, and fleeting moments. Adulthood may be louder, heavier and more demanding, but it is built entirely on the softness that came before it.
“Between Then and Now” is a reminder that who we were continues to shape who we are becoming. Perhaps the simple truth is that we never truly grow up. We simply pick up new techniques for carrying wonder, coping, and advancing. And the thread that allows us to revisit the aspects of ourselves we believed we had outgrown is nostalgia, whether it be heavy or sweet.
If anything, this project has taught me that memories are about appreciating how far we have come instead of yearning for the time gone. No matter how much the times change, the child inside of us remains, subtly reminding us of what remains, and subtly keeping us whole.
DoubleSpeak 