Forgiving is a nicety we grant to the other person.
It is not for us, the victim. It is for them, who hurt us.
Forgiving is so that we cut the chains on that pain.
Forgiving is so “the world can be right again” someday.
However, justice is a heartbeat which is unyielding.
The desire to see someone hurt as we have burns within.
It is a secret we are expected to keep to ourselves.
It is something we are expected to smile and say “It’s fine.”
The brain cannot forget the trauma, the elephant
which lingers ominously in the corner.
Unrequited emotions are the hardest to forget.
I wish one day for you to understand the harm you’ve done.
Razed by C-PTSD dreams, it is not easy to rise.
Again and again, we are told to forgive and forget.
What of me, who has to remember everything,
while being embraced by the one who swore he’d never hurt me?
What of my forgiving do you wish for?
What of my forgetting do you desperately want me to carry out?
Why do you want me to let this go, while not letting me forget,
it is you who broke me, it is you who caused these feelings within.
DoubleSpeak 