Michelle was looking out the window when she heard the laughing. That meant her roommate was back, most likely drunk and definitely with her boyfriend. They had to come back early enough to avoid the RA’s checking IDs. Sure enough, after some rustling and more laughing, the dorm room door swung open, and there was Heather and Dude. They stopped for a minute, half registering that Michelle was there. “Oh,” Heather said, “hey.”
Michelle gave a little wave as she shut her math textbook and stood. “It’s okay,” she said. “I can go get a late-night snack and give you some privacy for a while.”
Dude chuckled a little and leaned his face into Heather’s neck. Heather steadied herself. “You sure?”
Michelle slipped on the necklace that had her room key on it. “It's totally fine.” She brushed past Heather and Dude (he was breathing hard, which was gross). Before either of them said anything more, Michelle slipped down the hall and started down the staircase. Five flights and she’d be able to get by without any frat boys on her way to Lake Shore path. Most people would be avoiding it because of the attacks, and the people who wouldn’t avoid it would likely be either gross creeps or wannabe vigilantes. If that’s who crossed Michelle’s path on a full moon, she could live with it.
Michelle went into the woods surrounding the path. She tried not to look at the moon. She could feel it coming. After looking around to make sure that nobody was watching, Michelle took off her clothes and the necklace, putting everything into the backpack that she kept for each full moon. She squatted down and tried to slow her breathing, knowing what was coming, knowing that she couldn’t do anything about it.
Michelle woke up in the usual pile of leaves. She groaned and rubbed her eyes. After looking around, Michelle realized that she actually wasn’t that far from her backpack’s hiding spot. As she bushed herself off and headed towards the spot, walking carefully to avoid sharp stones and sticks, Michelle realized that she was starving. She must not have fed. That was a relief in some ways. While feeding always made her feel physically powerful the next day, a cycle without an attack might make it less likely that she’d eventually get caught.
Michelle kept a close eye out while she got dressed. As long as she got her clothes on, anyone who saw her would just assume that she was doing the walk of shame and not hiding her werewolf activity. It was still early enough that Heather and Dude would likely be passed out. Michelle should be able to shower, grab breakfast, and head to math without attracting any attention.
That’s pretty much what happened, though Michelle got a little distracted by how bad the room smelled. Dude’s drunk sweat, no doubt. Luckily, the walk to the dining hall gave Michelle some fresh air. By the time that she reached the hall, Michelle felt pretty decent. In the line, she loaded up on eggs and bacon, then she grabbed some toast. Michelle looked around to see where to sit. There were a couple of girls from her history course that were friendly enough, so Michelle headed to their table. “Hey, can I sit with you?”
One of the girls (Michelle was fairly sure that her name was Cassie) smiled. “Of course. We were just talking about all the extra security.”
The other girl sighed. “Last night, I was seriously just trying to walk home from work, and one of the security goons kept hassling me. Honestly, I think he was a perv that wanted to see if he could follow me home. I kept telling him that I just work the closing shift at the library.”
Michelle sat and took up a fork. “That’s awful.” Before there was any follow up, someone walked up to the table. When Michelle saw that it was Paula from her math class, she started to feel little bits of sweat bead up in her armpits.
“Hey,” Paula said, “Can I sit with you?”
Michelle could feel her face turning red. Luckily, Cassie answered with, “Absolutely. How are you?” Michelle tried to think of how Cassie and Paula might know each other, but she couldn’t remember for sure. Michelle thought about Paula a lot but not nearly as much about Cassie.
Paula sat and shrugged. “Fine.” Paula just had fruit and a slice of peanut butter toast on her plate. It made Michelle feel like a pig. She tried to eat as daintily as possible. Cassie caught Paula up in the conversation. When she finished, Paula said, “I know what you mean about the security goons. If you ask me, one of those dingdongs is going to end up hurting one of the frat boy vigilantes and then all the security is going to get called off.”
Cassie nodded. “I bet you’re right. I mean, the attacks have to stop, but the security hasn’t done anything.”
The other girl said, “I heard that one of the security guards maced a football player and got fired.”
All of them laughed after that. After a few seconds of quiet, Cassie said, “Well, we’d better get going. See you later.”
Michelle gave a little wave. Her mouth was full of bacon. Paula looked around a little, then she leaned in. “I heard that the Lake Shore security was in the wrong place anyway. I heard that there was an attack last night closer to the arboretum.”
Michelle felt the blood drain from her face. That didn’t make sense. “Are you sure?”
Paula stabbed a pineapple chunk and shrugged. “It’s just what I heard.”
Michelle tried to figure out how that could be. It seemed unlikely that she’d have gone all the way to the arboretum and then back to almost exactly where she started. Michelle tried to remember her werewolf experience. She had flashes, like usual, but nothing suggested that she’d traveled that far. And how would she have gone unseen? She came back to the present, hoping that she hadn’t seemed like a weirdo while she was trying to remember. She asked Paula, “Do you think that they’ll catch whoever is behind the attacks?”
Paula chewed and seemed to think about it. Michelle folded a slice of toast around some eggs and took a bite. Paula said, “I guess I don’t. It’s just hard for me to imagine them being good enough at their jobs to do it.”
Michelle appreciated that. Paula was probably right, and it made her feel better, even if Paula didn’t really understand what Michelle was asking. “It’s kind of weird how really clueless everybody seems. Like, there are a lot of crazy theories, but nobody’s been able to tell us what’s actually happening.”
Paula shrugged. “Times of panic are times of gossip.”
Michelle chewed some more bacon. “You don’t seem scared.” She watched Paula. Paula seemed a little caught off guard by that, but not scared or annoyed.
Eventually, she said, “I can try to protect myself, and I need to be smart, but either I’ll die or I won’t. I guess I’ve made my peace with that.”
Michelle wanted to tell Paula that that was the coolest thing that she’d ever heard, but
she knew that, if she did, Paula would be able to tell that she was crushing on her. “That’s a really smart way to think about it.”
“That’s me,” Paula said, “wise old lady.”
Michelle could feel herself start to blush. She ate a little more eggs and toast and said, “I should probably head out too.”
“I can walk with you to class.” Michelle was thrilled and horrified. She tried to make the least embarrassing small talk as they took their trays to the dishes counter and headed to class.
Michelle was reading the safety tips in the student newspaper. “Travel in packs. Look out for suspicious men. Avoid wooded areas.” They weren’t unreasonable, but it was clear that they had no idea that they were trying to avoid a werewolf. It struck her as odd that, of all the crazy theories people had, nobody was even guessing what was going on. Everyone just looked at her and assumed that she was normal; they couldn’t imagine what she actually was. And, of course, Michelle couldn’t tell anyone.
The door rattled, then opened. It was Heather, and she was crying. Michelle said, “What’s wrong?”
Heather yelled, “Justin’s a total dick,” and slammed the door behind her.
Michelle registered that Dude’s name was, apparently, Justin. “What did he do?”
Heather looked at Michelle. She sniffled. “He fucked this girl from his public speaking class.”
Michelle was surprised that there were actually two girls on campus that would sleep with Dude. She also wondered how this would impact her privacy with Heather. But that would have to wait. Michelle stood and went to Heather, hugging her. “Oh, I’m so sorry honey.” Heather cried into her shoulder. Michelle wondered if the breakup would stick. She probably shouldn’t badmouth him too much until it was clear that Heather had truly moved on.
After the crying died down, Heather leaned back. She pointed to Michelle’s shirt and said, “Shit, I’m sorry.”
Michelle looked down at the spot where Heather’s tears had soaked in. She waved a hand. “Don’t worry about it.”
Heather sighed and sniffled again. “You wanna get drunk?
It wasn’t unusual for Heather to be drunk, and it’s not like Michelle never drank, but this would’ve been the first time that they’d drink together and Michelle wasn’t sure if that was a great idea. But Heather looked so sad, and Michelle had just finished a couple of midterms, so she felt like a drink.
Michelle’s willingness was a good thing, because Heather had already opened her top dresser drawer to pull out some peach Schnapps. Michelle thought that was kind of gross, but she should probably nurse it anyway, making sure that Heather didn’t do things she’d regret later, like calling Dude. Heather poured some into a couple of foam cups and handed one to Michelle. Heather held up her cup like a toast and said, “Fuck Justin,” then knocked it back.
Michelle said, “No, no more fucking Justin,” then took a sip. While Heather laughed a little, Michelle asked, “You want to order a pizza?”
Heather poured herself more. “I’m definitely going to want some pizza.” Michelle called in an order while Heather leafed through her CD collection. They drank together and complained about things. Eventually, the pizza came. Heather outpaced Michelle with the drinking, eventually cracking open a bottle of vodka as well. By the time that they’d finished most of the pizza, Heather was only half awake, and Michelle was feeling pleasantly buzzed. Heather burped a little. Michelle stifled a laugh. Oddly enough, it was the closest that she’d felt to Heather in their time as roommates.
Michelle took a sip of Schnapps. At this point in the evening, she didn’t really notice the grossness. Michelle felt so comfortable that she leaned in towards Heather and said, “Can I tell you something?” Heather groaned a little. Michelle said, “I’m a werewolf.”
There were a few seconds of quiet, then Heather laughed a little. Then, she gave a faint, drunken howl. Michelle laughed. It felt good to have said it, and she was sure that Heather would be too hungover in the morning to remember.
Michelle was listening to her Walkman as she was shelving books, so she didn’t notice when Paula slid up to her. Michelle jumped a little, then both she and Paula laughed. “Sorry,” Paula said, “I didn’t mean to startle you.” She touched Michelle’s elbow, and Michelle almost went speechless.
Michelle took a breath, cleared her throat, and said, “No, you’re fine.”
“I figured maybe you were just too into your tunes or something.”
Michelle picked up another book. She both did and didn’t want to be looking at Paula. “No, I just get into robot mode when I’m shelving, you know?”
Paula nodded. “I get it. We all have those moments where we slip out of ourselves and turn into something else.”
Michelle almost dropped the book that she’d picked up. She wondered exactly how good of a read Paula had on her. “Are you here to study?”
Paula shook her head. “I needed to find something here. I can let you get back to shelving.”
Michelle felt the sweat coming back. She wanted to tell Paula, “I need you tonight,” but she could never fully let Paula in. Not to what she really was. Being a werewolf was about always being lonely to some degree. “It was good seeing you.”
Paula smiled. Her smile made Michelle’s head swim. Paula said, “I’ll see you around,” and walked away. Michelle let out a long, low sigh.
The full moon would be rising soon. Heather had tried to convince Michelle to go out looking for buys, but Michelle was able to beg off. She made it to her backpack’s hiding spot and was taking off her clothes to hide them when she heard one of the patrol guys. “Is there someone back there? If so, you need to announce yourself.”
Michelle stood still, crossing her arms over her chest. A flashlight beam went over her. She wondered if maybe she could convince this guy she was just some kind of weirdo, one of those hippie girls who practiced some kind of witchcraft. She couldn’t say she was drunk or high or the guy would try bringing her in. “I’m fine; I just want to be left alone.”
The guy said, “I can’t allow you to be out here all alone, and, and are you topless?” Michelle shifted to behind the bush, and she looked at the guy. He had no idea what he was up against. Michelle felt a little sorry for him, but only a little. Michelle said, “It’s not what it looks like.”
The guy pulled what looked like a gun out of his holster. “Is there someone else around? I don’t want any trouble.”
Before Michelle could answer, there were a couple of branches cracking. The guy shifted the flashlight around. When he landed on the source of the sound, Michelle felt sick to her stomach. It was Paula. She was in what looked like some kind of workout outfit. Michelle felt like the world was ending. She would turn into a werewolf and then kill either the guy, Paula, or both. At a bare minimum, they’d both see what she really was. “Paula,” Michelle yelled, “I’ve got to let you know something.”
Paula totally ignored the guy. She started walking towards Michelle. “If it’s that you’re crushing on me, I already know that. That’s why I’m here.”
The guy turned his flashlight back to Michelle, apparently wanting to hear where this was going. Michelle could feel the transformation starting. The fur was sprouting, and her nails were getting longer. “That’s only part of it,” she yelled to Paula. “There’s more.” Michelle ducked behind a bush and squatted down, taking off the rest of her clothes.
The guy yelled, “Don’t pull anything.”
Michelle went on. “I know this will sound crazy, but there’s something inside of me. Something bad.”
Paula yelled back. “It’s not bad, Michelle. You’re one of my kind, and that’s a good thing.”
Michelle started to cry a little. Paula didn’t understand, and if she didn’t leave, she wouldn’t be safe. “You have to go,” she said, “things are going to get bad.”
The guy yelled, “Is that a threat? Are you threatening us?”
Paula laughed. “You don’t even know.” Michelle was down on all fours now. Her teeth were lengthening, and she could feel the werewolf starting to take over, but she could still hear everything. She heard Paula groan. She heard the guy yell, “What the hell is going on?”. Then she heard growling, then a scream.
Michelle poked her head out from behind the bush. For a second, she thought she’d lost her mind, that she was having an out-of-body experience where she was watching herself be a werewolf. She quickly realized that she wasn’t going mad. A werewolf was attacking the guy, but it wasn’t her. This is what Paula meant by “one of my kind.”
Michelle felt a thrill as the transformation completed. Tomorrow, Michelle might not remember all of what was about to come, but she couldn’t possibly forget what she’d just learned. It meant that she and Paula could live their lives, could be together. It was a perfect moment.
DoubleSpeak 