Abandoned

Feeling particularly abandoned today,

The distance seems further,

The sting of space sings louder,

Feeling particularly forsaken today,

The air seems stiller,

Dropped, fallen,

and the aftershock still shocks,

On days like today.

I Told You I Was Sorry

I’m sorry you need me.

I’m sorry you still think I’m responsible.

I’m sorry I haven’t seen you —

Haven’t checked in,

Haven’t met your boyfriend,

Didn’t know you went back to school.

I’m sorry I don’t ask about you.

I’m sorry I missed your birthday this year —

And last.

I’m sorry my name makes things awkward.

I’m sorry your heart hurts on Mother’s Day.

I’m sorry you feel the need to say you don’t celebrate it.

I’m sorry I live down the road —

And that it’s harder than if I lived in Alaska,

Or on the space station.

I’m sorry I’m not dead —

Because maybe that would be easier.

I’m sorry you cry for me.

I’m sorry I’m not like the mothers in the movies.

I’m sorry you have to make excuses for me.

I’m sorry you learned how to love from absence —

How to grieve someone still living.

I’m sorry I never said it myself —

And that you had to write this poem for me.

Down in Flames

His mouth tastes like the cocktail spit of a fireman

after he fails to save the baby.

The building is swallowed whole,

licked out by flames.

This kiss, a mix of anxiety

and the end, a moment of acceptance,

an embrace of defeat.

The wish of the fireman,

longing to go down with the building.

Instead, you go down on me.