FOR four or five summers ago – or was it six? – the lives of a motley but lovable collection of families and friends had the undoubted and unforgettable highlight of Sunday morning football (soccer) on Blackheath. SE London.
Not kick-abouts and nowhere near football’s pyramid, but it meant more to us than England versus West Germany. It was participating in the unique Blackheath People’s Football League. And taking part was all down to Codinho (sometimes known as Alex Cordwell), so let him tell you how it happened.
Having dirtballed the Diamond, bum-rushed the Bonsai and khazied the Catenaccio, it looked as if Gaffer Pitsku's perennial struggle to devise the perfect Dodgers formation was the only thing that could possibly derail the Rossoneri roller-coaster ahead of this crunch game against the league's most unpredictable enigma – The Hurricanes.
Whilst newly-appointed co – advisors Ray "The Dimestore Dostoevsky" and One eyed Michael – were pointing in all directions and conjuring up more theories than Stephen Hawkin, the Kingshurst Tinkerman (much earlier known as ‘Dad’} dropped a tactical bombshell that left Codinho scratching his head, the Clam scratching his beard, and Andreas scratching his nuts.
Some say it was like hearing the snare drum at the start of Like a Rolling Stone, others swore it was akin to the advent of Picasso's Blue period, and Pistol Pete said it was an effing masterstroke. It was three at the back!
Undeterred by shouts of Judas! from the bleachers, opposition boss Arthur Dexter-Bradley setting fire to his six-a-side Bible, and Stefan frantically thumbing through his rule book, the new-look Champions quickly settled into their unfamiliar roles.
Jaap and Janek looked so imperiously tight in the central pivot you could have sworn they shower together, and with Zuess a juicyfruit away from looking like Brazilian legend Cafu down the right, it was clearly a matter of time before the Hurricanes were blown away. And so it proved .
The opening goal, a clinical finish from Jaap following arguably the move of the season in which Joey Sellick was instrumental, can only be described as Dodgers gold – and after a comical OG put the league leaders 2-0 in front just before half time, not even Alfred Bellow's blatant introduction of the two biggest ringers the league has ever seen could spoil the party.
Indeed, if close-range efforts from a fully-Ramandanned Shield or man of the match Ollie Gosling's rasper hadn't been denied by the crossbar, the scoreline would have been even more emphatic.
The Tinkerman had earned his spurs yet again and a bigger grin outside The Crown pub we're yet to see. He may have looked like Robert Ford but he felt just like Jessie James!
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