Adrienne Rich opens her Of Women Born with the announcement “All human life on the planet is born of women.”
Mother’ (Mata: mother, mater, maternal; Latvian equivalent “mate”) is one of the oldest known words. Roman Jakobson claims that the nasal sound in ‘mama’ comes from the nasal murmur that babies produce during breastfeeding when their mouths are blocked, which is probably why ‘mother’ in many languages of the world contains a nasal sound. Pregnancy, childbirth, lactation, and nurturing are associated tasks of motherhood.
The Collins dictionary defines ‘mother’ as “a female who has given birth to offspring,” and more broadly as a person who demonstrates ‘motherly qualities,’ such as maternal affection. The definition ‘mother’ thus focuses on the gestational capacities of women, the ability to give birth and experience pregnancy, which by extension means looking after, caring for, protecting, nursing, and tending. Lately, ‘mother’ has been defined as a person who engages in the act of mothering- a rather modern term that designates a woman providing the physical and psychological care needed for a child. Motherly qualities include caring, tending, and compassion, which by extension include cooking, washing, or other necessary activities entailed by the patriarchy from which fathers are released.
Motherhood is a fundamental aspect of human existence, deeply ingrained in societal norms and cultural practices across the globe. In India, the concept of motherhood holds immense significance, rooted in mythological, religious, and historical narratives. However, the lived experiences of mothers often diverge from idealised representations, leading to complex realities that challenge traditional notions of motherhood. Numerous advertisements, in different versions of media, have been glorifying motherhood by portraying mothers as the all-giving, ever-forgiving goddess, who is also the epitome of tolerance and who derives all her pleasures from the happiness of her children.
The concept of motherhood often deeply influences a woman's sense of identity, with societal norms often equating womanhood with the ability to bear children. In many cultures, the pressure to conform to this expectation can be intense, leading women to prioritise pregnancy as a validation of their femininity and societal worth.
Statistics reveal the extent to which this pressure shapes women's experiences. For example, in a study conducted by the Centres for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), it was found that approximately 12% of women in the United States aged 15-44 have difficulty getting pregnant or carrying a pregnancy to term. Among these women, nearly 7.4 million have sought infertility services.
These statistics underscore the significant emotional and physical toll that fertility challenges can impose on women. For instance, consider the journey of Sarah, a 35-year-old professional who had always dreamed of becoming a mother. After years of trying unsuccessfully to conceive naturally, Sarah and her partner decided to explore fertility treatments. Sarah underwent multiple rounds of in-vitro fertilisation (IVF), enduring hormone injections, invasive procedures, and the emotional roller coaster of hope and disappointment with each cycle. Despite her perseverance, Sarah's IVF journey ended without success, leaving her grappling with feelings of inadequacy and loss.
Sarah's story mirrors the experiences of countless women worldwide who face fertility challenges. In their pursuit of motherhood, many women undergo a range of invasive medical procedures, from hormone therapies to complex assisted reproductive technologies. These interventions, while offering hope for conception, can also exact a significant physical, emotional, and financial toll.
Furthermore, societal attitudes towards motherhood can exacerbate the pressure on women who struggle with fertility. Despite advances in reproductive science and the growing acceptance of diverse family structures, the cultural emphasis on biological ties and genetic lineage persists. This can marginalise women who pursue alternative paths to motherhood, such as adoption or surrogacy, relegating their roles as mothers to a lesser status in the eyes of society.
Consider the case of Maria, a 40-year-old woman who chose to become a mother through adoption after years of unsuccessful fertility treatments. Despite her deep love and commitment to her adopted child, Maria has encountered subtle forms of discrimination and scepticism from others who question the authenticity of her motherhood. These experiences highlight the need to challenge narrow definitions of motherhood and recognise the diverse ways in which women nurture and care for children.
The intersection of women's identities with motherhood is complex and multifaceted, shaped by societal expectations, biological realities, and individual aspirations. While the desire to conceive biologically is a powerful motivator for many women, it's essential to acknowledge and celebrate the diverse paths to motherhood and the inherent value of all forms of care-giving and nurturing.
From ancient epics like the Mahabharata and Ramayana to contemporary literature and cinema, Indian culture reveres motherhood as a sacred and divine role. The archetype of the mother-goddess is deeply embedded in the collective consciousness, symbolising nurturance, protection, and fertility. The use of terms like "Ma" to address women reflects this reverence, yet often fails to translate into empowerment or autonomy for mothers in reality. Mahasweta Devi's "The Breast Giver" serves as a poignant critique of the dichotomy between the symbolic and lived experiences of motherhood in India.
Motherhood is constructed and perpetuated through various ideological frameworks, including biological determinism, patriarchy, and cultural traditions. These ideologies impose rigid expectations and gender roles on women, equating motherhood with selflessness and sacrifice. The notion of the "ideal mother" glorifies maternal devotion while overlooking the physical, emotional, and economic challenges faced by mothers. However, contemporary shifts in familial structures, such as working mothers and diverse parenting models, challenge traditional ideologies of motherhood.
Feminist scholars have interrogated the patriarchal construction of motherhood, highlighting its oppressive dimensions and inherent contradictions. Adrienne Rich's "Of Woman Born" and Erma Bombeck's "Motherhood: The Second Oldest Profession" offer critical insights into the complexities of maternal experience, acknowledging both its burdens and triumphs. Lauri Umansky and Sharon Hays further dissect the cultural contradictions and societal expectations that shape women's experiences of motherhood.
In contemporary India, motherhood is undergoing significant transformations, influenced by technological advancements, changing family structures, and evolving gender norms. Films like "Mother India" and "Ekla Cholo" depict the diverse realities of motherhood, from traditional care giving roles to unconventional choices and challenges faced by modern mothers. Additionally, the rise of mommy bloggers and online communities reflects the growing discourse on motherhood in digital spaces.
The concept of motherhood in India is a complex interplay of myths, ideologies, and lived experiences that shape women's identities and roles within society. While traditional narratives continue to exert influence, contemporary discourses challenge and re-frame notions of maternal agency, autonomy, and empowerment. By critically examining the myths, theories, and realities of motherhood, we can foster a more inclusive and equitable understanding of women's experiences as mothers in India.
Reference:
The Concept of Motherhood in India: Myths, Theories and Realities- Zinia Mitra
Red Earth, Motherly Blood: Articulating Sylvia Plath's Anxieties of Motherhood By Jemma L. King.
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