Mother died this morning. And now I sit in a cafe. So strange the world. This dreary cafe. The spoons look the same as last week, I expected the spoons to look different for some reason. Probably because mother died. And the waitress keeps tapping on her phone, tip tapping. Her nails are different colours and one particular nail on the index finger has an intricate design. Both index’s mind you. A round of burned toast smothered in butter and a nice pot of strong tea. Not weak tea, must be strong tea I told her. Always two teabags, definitely two teabags or it’s not strong enough ye see. And I always take me tablets with me tea. To keep me from getting bad with me nerves ye see. Don’t forget your tablets me mammy used to always say. She was so cold this morning and at a second glance, like something was missing. Like a shell of what she was, like she shed her skin or something. But there was relief there. The cancer god help her, it was the cancer. Lord have mercy on her.
The girl walked over to me. Can I get you anything else Jimmy? no no love, I’m grand. I’ll just pay for that now chicken. I have to get back to me mammy. Me mammy will be missing me so she will ye see. No problem Jimmy just give us one sec. The traffic passed spluttering and coughing and the hazy rain fizzled down on the city centre Christmas decorations. Reminding him of the aul Christmas shopping with mammy. When we’d go to Cleary’s for a scone and a pot of tea upstairs.
Always two teabags she’d say to the woman. And sure she took me to see Santy there as well. What would you like little boy? Said the Santy
Says I “I want me Daddy back”. Well me Mammy was only mortified. I got the hole slapped off me that night I can tell ye, so I did. And sure the time I brought back that fella and we were doing the hoochi koochi. And me Mammy said that’s a mortal sin what your doing that homosexuality. You’ll go to hell James and I won’t be able to save ye. Under my roof especially and me with me scared heart on the wall and our lady’s statue, and the bleeding child of pray standing there looking at us and your getting up to that carry on.
As he was taking the keys out of his bag to open his front door he gave a little boy a smile that was passing by with his mother. The little boy thought it was strange to see what looked like a man dressed up like a woman smile at him. Maybe it was just a woman that looked like a man. Jimmy put his coat and scarf over the banister rail at the bottom of the stairs. He began to put his few messages away and went about putting on the tea. He put to teabags in the pot. He poured a cup out and put it on mammy’s night stand, and sat across from her on a chair by the bed. He began to chat about old times, and about Mrs Hennessy who died last year of a stroke, then her poor son Damian, who only last month died of a brain haemorrhage, lord have mercy on him. He’d just keep Mammy a few more days, Sure nobody would notice. Just a few more days.
DoubleSpeak 